Last Free Man

Shot of a lifetime, err again...

 

While creeping around in the woods like a Sasquatch with a D90, a large owl swooped near.  I slowly stalked him right into a nearby tree and dry fired a manual focus 3000 ISO for instant perfection.  If I took this shot 1000 more times it would have missed/focused, as you can see his left wing is raising and he took flight a millisecondlater.  Why was I in the woods in the middle of the night in full DSLR mode?  It's just the digital life baby, please don't call the authorities...

Ok Ok I take it all back...

When I initially reviewed a jail-broken, eBay acquired iPhone, I did so from a place of early adoption anger.  I apologize for this lack of authorship and actually now will rescind my review.  I take it back, all of it.  The original iPhone hate fest I had shared was based mostly on the fact that it was a cool collegy, new world order, hippie sort of affair.  Like much of Apple's unfortunate plague, the "Widespread panc-tards" follow every box of shit the late Steve Jobs throws at them, (he's not dead, are you sure?)  Oops being mean again must stop.

Fast forward to the present time two years later, now with a mature platform, bug fixes, GPS, and the apps store, the iPhone is a technical marvel.  It really is hard coming from a staunch Windows mobile/HT/Blackberry world and speaking good on the iPhone.  The reality is with the right app set I can accomplish more, create more and automate many things that were impossible on all the other platforms.  

IT speaking there are several VNC and Remote desktop clients.  I was already using these protocols and services on a myriad of systems I have out in the field.  These remote network apps allow you to control any server/PC from the iPhone's main screen with full media support, audio and screen refreshes as highas 8 fps.  Rebooting servers, WOL, making DB changes, even major programming of systems are all possible. I actually rebooted a system, nervously waited for it to come up and launched 3 applications that saved a critical system and service call, all while a plane was making its way to the runway.  To impress other nerds, you can play mmo games like World of Warcraft, although just light leveling or crafting/AH are the reality.  I have done a little BG and AV in VNC-WOW one time as a hunter just to show off, but it was rather laggy in PVP. 

Hacky web fun is also easy with a full featured IRC, Usenet, and RSS client.  There is also a few port scanners and IP/sub calculators.  Twitter, facebook, youtube blah blah social networking is a breeze also.  There are several photoshop clones and pretty decent geo tagged image support.  Web editors, ftp clients, I suppose if you were so inclined you could bang out a 21,000 line code in note pad, and then email it to your vnc server, compile it, grab the executable, and email your new virus to everyone in your contact book.  This is all possible and quite fun.

For the sneaky, paranoid weirdos like me the iPhone is a dream. Now that Safari supports full mjpeg streaming, I have a live 15fps view (with audio) of almost every vulnerable area of my house.  With some simple IP cameras you can remotely, and fully live, monitor cameras from your phone.  There is also some great key-logging, and silent webcam monitors.  If you ever see my laptop sitting indiscriminately in a room all innocently sleeping, it most likely monitoring your movements, keystrokes, and audio with live streaming and data caching for storage.  Keep that in mind while undressing near my laptops, you too can be an Internetphenom!  You can also control Toshiba, Axis and several other encoders PTZ function.  Alarm panels made by Honeywell can be monitored, armed/disarmed as well.

The emerging game platform of the iPhone has really taken off as well.  There are some really great offerings for the mobile gamer from real companies like Square-Enix and Capcom.  There are some awesome RPG titles starting to appear as well, with several ports of classic titles like Vay, Angel sword and the enigmatic Puzzle Quest.  A very early MMO is also in the works and in the early stages is a lot of fun, iEmpire is a true mmo with arena battles, markets, and character customization.  A quaint idle rpg offering is also out there with a quirky but fun game titled Idle Venture.  Classics like Zork, Oregon Trail, and Drugwars have all made their way to your pocket!

So in summary yes I was wrong, I was converted, and now fully embrace the iPhone platform.  While I still have my Windows Mobile/Blackberry phones for work, everything seems so clunky and time consuming to accomplish.  With the promise of faster 3G, XM radio, Internet sharing, and solar trickle charging on the horizon I dont feel all that stressed about being locked into this device for 2 more years.  The future is bright indeed.  I have to admit a 04:00 remote wowbot hack/VNC restart/WOL/Mjpeg stream-alarm panel disarm/IRC script/Wolfenstein 3D session, all while having a bit of coffee while walking the dog mobile-multi task binge was the inspiration for this blog rescind.  Wolfenstein 3D can you believe it?!!

 

Mustache March Madness

My electric razor broke.  My head is full of pollen and spring time virility.  These factors have combined into a tumultuous mixture of ideas that is this blog.  The mustache march madness experiment.  I have always admired those brave enough to sport face decorations such as the mustache.  I grew up in the south playing baseball heavily surrounded in mustachery.  My Dad, Uncle Pete, Magnum PI, I was pretty much surrounded.  I can remember my fathers fantastic brushy walrus-like mustache bathed in suds from his beer on a hot August day...  A few years later his love of scuba came between him and his stache in order to get a good mask seal, a sad day indeed. 

I always dreamed of sporting a nice flavor-saver one day, but after numerous failed attempts in the 6-8th grade era, when only the stupid kids who failed could grow them, I gave up.  You see, the 90's were coming grudge was on the horizon, and the mustache was about to die a slow painful death.  I settled for sideburns and lack of shaving as my f u to the clean shaven non-pirate world.  Well no more my friends a bright new era is upon us...

When my razor ceased function this morning I decided to go a little evil and just let things go the way they may.  Nature now controls my face.  I was just about to take care of that mess under my nose when the gears grinded to a halt, that was when the plan hatched, the mustache march madness experiment.  So I will give it a month starting today and see what it's like to pilot a full mustache, this will be a documented journey with field notes and a final entry, so stay tuned.  I will go ahead and make a nice field entry for today the genesis.

FIELD JOURNAL (Updated 03/25/09 05:23)

March 21, 2009 1600

Mustache ranking: pedo-stache

Weather: Sunny and cool 70

Subject: Day One

Today was the first day of the mustache journey, I for some reason want to spell it moustache but the stupid Mac refuses, this makes me very angry, screw you Steve Jobs, I will beat you.  I am noting in this early stage as referenced above in the last sentence, a small increase in aggression, manliness, and overall prowess, I dream of digging holes and caring for my pack of women I have created a harem out of. This could be an early tap into the spiritual life that is mustache living, the knowledge of ancient man-beasts, or this could be the dreams of a highly dextro-pseudophedrinal-coma.  Either way I am gaining manly knowledge and have been aching for cheap beer all day.  Will report further.

 

The daily Field entries here.

Pollen hammer!

Yes folks it's that time of year again spring. Can I actually be so negative as to wax ugly on the virgin, flowerest laden season of all? Why yes I can, pull up a stool and let's hate on some spring! This is that time of year when the air is full of hope and blossoms and tree sperm! Oh my yes with each death rattled breath I take I get natures fantastic free cum shot to the sinus. The older I get it seems the more pills, ointments and voodoo rituals I require in order to prop up during this mating season of ours. This year for instance I was up at 3 am eating cereal, and drinking beer at 10 am while driving to work, as my system was so shocked by the DST government mandate. The government you ask? Yes I blame my sinal stress syndrome on the Obama administration. Where's my tarp or bail out I need a new hanky, hachhhoo!! 

This early winter/late spring thing we have going here must be the reason for the new flavor of Bradford pear that is springing up. You see what I did there, that was a pun, the lowest comedy denominator, I would like to thank Zrytec, claritin, and viagara for that lack of comedic justice, spring will kill me you see?! Yes the Bradford pears are a changing this year, evolving perhaps. All those sub-prime real estate installs have lead to a revolt! This year instead of the normal cheap skating rink harlot perfume smell, we were blessed with a haughty mix of old steak, with a light mushroomy  finish. I actually thought I left a steak somewhere all this week as I was "taking the air..." 

(Every spring I take a boar out for a ride, although no animals were harmed in the making of this blog, animals were annoying me and animals may have had rocks thrown at them.)

Spring is also that season when all the vitamin D-tards (not a pun a play on words, thanks drug cocktail) are out in full force. You know these people, they complain about myths like skin cancer and melanoma all winter, and as soon as it gets springy out they make you log off and to outside. If you resist, you get the old mom bit, the go outside and play... Of course when you go out into this sperm infested atmosphere you get assaulted by mating squirrels, you see they are extra aggressive this time of year. Best stay indoors I say! College basketball, St. Patricks day, May day, there are an endless spree of hallmarxist created holidays and distractions to keep you busy and your mind off of the real truth. 

Yes the real truth is that spring is here, and you are one year closer to dying and becoming fertilizer for next springs flowers. Oh no you di-iant oh yes I di-id, take that spring! This was all done mobile, while outside taking the air... Any annomalies in spelling or otherwise are due to tired thumbs and the economy.  Yes every sentance I hear these days ends with "the economy" so I'm going to be shabby chic and get with the cool poor people.

Mobile post 03/11/2009 17:00 Brandon A. Freeman

Frosty speaks!

 

After months of training, Frosty the wonder beast has finally mastered the speaking trick. I'm sure he is quite relieved as well as my constant barking in his face is now over!  The HD version is also available here: HD Frosty speaks