Last Free Man

Thank You Steve.

Thank you Steve for igniting a fire in me with the Apple II. I will never forget those long lines of basic written in an old wicker chair one summer, those piles of graph paper dungeon maps from text based RPGs, my first pirated BBS…

 Your vision led me to my career, my passion, and my medium of self expression.

 

 

Wow I let the whole summer go by.

Good. As we slip deeper and deeper into a depression and undo 1000 years of human progress in the westernized world, I nary have time for more than the occasional mobile post. Which (while I'm on topic) I might add has grown to a ridiculous 4 years worth of 28971 pages chronicling nearly every moment of my life. So as we approach the end times I must reveal that the actual reason for lack of imaginative witty, oft brilliant postings are really related to my deep, somewhat cavernous albeit hermit-like existence that is one hiding from the reality of the bleakest, darkest times, yes I have absorbed myself completely in the world of MMO.  I may not emerge from these dungeons and lands until the great great depression of 2000s ends, and that my friends will be a very long time, please buy lots of ammo, chickens and lubricant. The darkness descends and we are all doomed. 

Goodbye Cindy Jordan

Some clippings follow:

Cynthia Jordan, 30, of Canton, was killed in an accident involving a tractor trailer over the weekend at the traffic light at the intersection of Hwy 53 and Hwy 515 near Kroger. Jordan was pronounced dead at the scene. The Kroger employee was driving a Nissan Sentra at approximately 1:36 p.m. on Nov. 13 when she collided with a tractor trailer. The only other passenger in the vehicle, Cynthia’s daughter, sustained minor injuries and is currently staying with family. According to Georgia State Patrol Sgt. K.R. Johnson the accident is still under investigation and details about the collission are not being released at this time. 

Ms. Cindy Jordan, age 30 of Jasper, passed away on Saturday, November 13, 2010 at the result of an auto accident in Jasper. Visitation will be held at Cagle Funeral Home on Tuesday, November 16th from 5PM to 9PM, Wednesday, November 17th from 8AM to 9PM and Thursday, November 18th from 8AM until prior to the Funeral Hour. Funeral Services are scheduled for 11AM on Thursday, November 18, 2010 at the Chapel of Cagle Funeral Home. Interment will follow at Mozeley Memorial Gardens in Lithia Springs.

Survivors include her Mother: Gaye and Robbie Quinton of Talking Rock; Father and Step-Mother: John T. and Anna Jordan of Monterey, CA; Grandfather: Rudolph K. and Karin Teichmann; Grandmother: Margret Graham of Chicago, IL; Close Friend: Shawn McGill; Daughter: Sophia Maree Jordan of Jasper; Brother: Mathew Pike of Jasper; Sisters: Renee Jordan Salters of Acworth, Lauren Borel of Alexandria, LA, Caroline Pike of Talking Rock and Emily Pike of Talking Rock; Several Nieces and Nephews: Nathan Salters, Morgan Salters and Brayden Borel.

Cagle Funeral Home is in charge of arrangements. 

364 E. Church Street
, Jasper, Georgia 30143 
(706) 692-6615 phone
(706) 692-9399 fax

 The old saying goes, "Little boys are made of snips and snails, and puppy dog tails. Little girls are made of sugar and spice, and everything nice." I think Cindy was all of that, and much more. A pretty little pixie, a package of energy, a ball of fiery determination. I think she did an awesome job handling the Drug GM items at Kroger; which is like putting together a 10,000 piece 3D puzzle, on a deadline. That was her job. But her passion was Sophie. Cindy made sure her child got what she needed. That's what good moms do. I remember once seeing Cindy roll two year old Sophie around the store in a buggy, keeping her amused while they waited for Grandmother Gaye to get finished with her work. Sophie was getting fussy, so I motioned for them to come back to the Produce prep room. We put dozens of stickers all over Miss Sophie. She was a manager's special, $1.00, 99 cents, etc. That kept her happy. And it made me happy, too. Seeing them together at that moment was the sweet memory I will always have of Cindy. Sophie will grow up without her mommie. It's up to us all to make sure she will know where she came from. DNA doesn't lie. She is special, unique, beautiful, and strong. Someday she will probably run the world. And she'll know exactly where every person is, and what they are doing (or SHOULD be doing). Cindy, you worked so very hard, that you got done early. Too early for us, for sure. I can't believe it, but it's true. Rest well, and don't worry. Gaye will take care of Sophie. That's what good Grandmoms do. And there are a lot of other people who love your little girl. They'll help, too. Rest well, dear friend. Bettina Huseby Formerly of Produce, Kroger Jasper, Georgia
  Bettina HusebyJasper , GA 11/17/2010
 

  My deepest thoughts and prayers for you all at this difficult time. Cindy was a inspiration to us all. She will truly be missed.
  Dawn  BallisCanton , GA 11/16/2010
 

 Cindy, You were truly an inspiration to us all.Sophia couldn't have asked for a better mommy. You will truly be missed. Until we meet again......
  Dawn  BallisCanton , GA 11/16/2010
 

 Cindy, You were an amazing mother, a terrific person and a wonderful friend. You were such an important part of our family; you will be sorely missed. We'll make sure Sophia never doubts the incredible mother she had in you. We love you.
  Tanya McGillKennesaw , GA 11/16/2010
 

 I knew you only a short time Cindy, but you were an inspiration. You will be missed. Sophia's school bus driver
  Brenda PierceBall Ground , GA 11/16/2010
 

 I miss you Cindy. My love to Gaye,Sophie and Family
  Marsha RileyJasper , GA 11/16/2010
 

 Cagle Funeral Home extends condolences to the family and friends.
  Cagle Funeral Home 

Cabin Ghost?

This is a small video clip taken from our lake community near the now deceased town of Allatoona. The motion lights which are turned down to low and only fire on IR/Motion did fire and all that was captured was an apparition rolling by. For the sake of argument these lights are not overly sensitive and require heat and motion to fire, the camera system also only recorded this event last night and nothing else, so this is neither a trick of motion lighting or faulty camera.

TMX Elmo Death Squad!

After multiple failed attempts at trying to help this years hottest seasonal toy meets his/her maker...  Pause.  While I'm on the subject what sex is this androgynous, pink, robot weirdo?  Back in the good ole' days sesame street featured sexually distinct characters either male, female or giant bird.  There was of course always the looming suspicion that Bert and Ernie were an item, I mean 2 dudes in the bath tub together is pretty much the benchmark for gay puppetry.  In full protest of this sexual misidentification situation at Mattel, I have decided to choose martyrdom for a TMX Elmo top secret version, the first series and most rare of all.  Pushing all open mindedness aside I know present:

TMX Elmo Death Squad!

Critical stats: Tickle your funny bone with the most "x-treme" Elmo yet! Elmo has three interactive tickle spots on his chin, tummy or toe. When you first tickle Elmo, he slaps his knee and sits on the floor, laughing hysterically! Then he rocks himself back up and asks for more. Tickle him again, and he falls to the ground, kicks his feet and scoots across the floor on his back! After standing back up, Elmo asks for another tickle and does it all over again, slapping his knee, sitting down, rolling on his back… and in his most "x-treme" move ever, he even rolls on his belly and slaps the floor! Your sides will split as you watch Elmo crack up with laughter! And when even Elmo admits he has had too much, just flip the on/off switch.

(You don't want this thing around your kids anyways!)

T.M.X™
Product: H9207
Ages: 18 months & up
Price: $40.00 T.M.X. Elmo requires 6 “AA” batteries and is approx. 15” H.

Toy Industry Association
T.O.T.Y. (Toy Of The Year) Award 2006
Toys 'R Us
’Hot Toy’ 2006
Fabulous 15: Best of Holiday Season 2006

It's Black Tuesday!

(The red coats are coming!)

"Compliance with the tax code is not only very difficult and complicated, consuming a total of 6 billion hours, but unreasonably expensive as well. It is estimated that it costs taxpayers $265.1 billion for tax filing, tax record keeping, and tax reduction advice. That's just shy of $900 for every man, woman, and child in America! We have taxation without comprehension!"  -smart people

The FairTax proposal is a comprehensive plan to replace federal income and payroll based taxes, including personal and corporate income taxes, gift, estate, capital gains, alternative minimum, Social Security, Medicare, and self-employment taxes. The FairTax proposal integrates such features as a progressive national retail sales tax, dollar-for-dollar federal revenue replacement, and a prebate to ensure that no American pays federal taxes on spending up to the poverty level, and, through companion legislation, the repeal of the 16th Amendment to the Constitution. The FairTax allows Americans to keep 100 percent of their paychecks (minus any state income taxes), ends corporate taxes and compliance costs hidden in the retail cost of goods and services, and fully funds the federal government while fulfilling the promise of Social Security and Medicare.

Americans take home their whole paychecks.
Not only do more Americans have jobs, but they also take home 100 percent of their paychecks (except where state income taxes apply). No federal income taxes or payroll taxes are withheld from paychecks, pensions, or Social Security checks.

No federal sales tax up to the poverty level means progressivity like today's tax system.
To ensure no American pays tax on necessities, the FairTax plan provides a prepaid, monthly rebate (prebate) for every registered household to cover the consumption tax spent on necessities up to the federal poverty level. This, along with several other features, is how the FairTax completely untaxes the poor, lowers the tax burden on most, while making the overall rate progressive. However, the FairTax is progressive based on lifestyle/spending choices, rather than simply punishing those taxpayers who are successful. Do you see how much freer life is with the FairTax instead of the income tax?

No tax on used goods. The amount you pay to fund the government is totally visible.
With the FairTax you are only taxed once on any good or service. If you choose to buy used goods - used car, used home, used appliances - you do not pay the FairTax. If, as a business owner or farmer, you buy something for strictly business purposes (not for personal consumption), you pay no consumption tax. When you decide what to buy and how much to spend, you see exactly how much you are contributing to the government with each purchase.

Retail prices no longer hide corporate taxes or their compliance costs, which drive up costs for those who can least afford to pay.
Did you know that hidden income taxes and the cost of complying with them currently make up 20 percent or more percent of all retail prices? It's true. According to Dr. Dale Jorgenson of Harvard University, hidden income taxes are passed on to the consumer in the form of higher prices for everything you buy. If competition does not allow prices to rise, corporations lower labor costs, again hurting those who can least afford to lose their jobs. Finally, if prices are as high as competition allows and labor costs are as low as practical, profits/dividends to shareholders are driven down, thereby hurting retirement savings for moms-and-pops and pension funds invested in Corporate America. With the FairTax, the sham of corporate taxation ends, competition drives prices down, more people in America have jobs, and retirement/pension funds see improved performance.

The income tax exports our jobs, rather than our products. The FairTax brings jobs home.
Most importantly, the FairTax does not burden U.S. exports the way the current income tax system does. The FairTax removes the cost of corporate taxes and compliance costs from the cost of U.S. exports, putting U.S. exports on a level playing field with foreign competitors. Lower prices sharply increase demand for U.S. exports, thereby increasing job creation in U.S. manufacturing sectors. At home, imports are subject to the same FairTax rate as domestically produced goods. Not only does the FairTax put U.S. products sold here on the same tax footing as foreign imports, but the dramatic lowering of compliance costs in comparison to other countries' value-added taxes also gives U.S. products a definitive pricing advantage which foreign tax systems cannot match.

The FairTax strategy is revenue neutrality:
Neither raise nor lower taxes so consumer costs remain stable.
The FairTax pays for all current government operations, including Social Security and Medicare. Government revenues are more stable and predictable than with the federal income tax because consumption is a more constant revenue base than is income.

If you were in a 23-percent income tax bracket, the federal government would take $23 out of your paycheck for every $100 you made. With the FairTax, if the federal government gets $23 out of every $100 spent in America, the same total revenue is delivered to the federal government. This is revenue neutrality. So, instead of paycheck-earning Americans paying 7.65 percent of their paychecks in Social Security/Medicare payroll taxes, plus an average of 18 percent of their paychecks in federal income tax, for a total of about 25.65 percent, consumers in America pay only $23 out of every $100. Or about 30 percent at the cash register when they elect to spend on new goods or services for their own personal consumption. And this tax is collected only on spending above the federal poverty level, providing important progressivity.

Tax criminals - don't make criminals out of honest taxpayers.
Today, the IRS will admit to 25 percent noncompliance with the code. FairTax.org will be generous and simply take the position that this is likely a conservative estimate of the underground economy. However, this does not take into account the criminal/drug/porn economy, which equally conservative estimates put at one trillion dollars of untaxed activity. The FairTax does tax this - criminals love to flash that cash at retail - while continuing to provide the federal penalties so effective in bringing such miscreants to justice. The substantial decrease in points of compliance - from every wage earner, investor, and retiree, down to only retailers - also allows enforcement to concentrate on following the money to criminal activity, rather than making potential criminals out of every taxpayer struggling to decipher the current code.

What is the FairTax plan?
The FairTax plan is a comprehensive proposal that replaces all federal income and payroll based taxes with an integrated approach including a progressive national retail sales tax, a prebate to ensure no American pays federal taxes on spending up to the poverty level, dollar-for-dollar federal revenue replacement, and, through companion legislation, the repeal of the 16th Amendment. This nonpartisan legislation (HR 25) abolishes all federal personal and corporate income taxes, gift, estate, capital gains, alternative minimum, Social Security, Medicare, and self-employment taxes and replaces them with one simple, visible, federal retail sales tax administered primarily by existing state sales tax authorities. The FairTax taxes us only on what we choose to spend on new goods or services, not on what we earn. The FairTax is a fair, efficient, transparent, and intelligent solution to the frustration and inequity of our current tax system.

What is Americans For Fair Taxation (FairTax.org)?
FairTax.org is a nonprofit, nonpartisan, grassroots organization solely dedicated to replacing the current tax system. The organization has hundreds of thousands of members and volunteers nationwide. Its plan supports sound economic research, education of citizens and community leaders, and grassroots mobilization efforts. For more information visit the web page: http://www.fairtax.org/ or call 1-800-FAIRTAX.

Join us!

Mom!! The cats looking at me!!

I have a difficult relationship with my girlfriends cat.  This goes way beyond what the Oprah show cult (keep denying the cult like status of the Oprah show nation and when she finally takes over you will also be assimilated dazed and drooling like the rest of her minions. don't believe me? two words Tom Cruise...) or Dr. Phil can fix no motel's or povichs either this thing we got going is bad.  Its almost like were flirting with each other, I come in kind of give her that tough guy nod like whats up and go on ignoring her, maybe I'm booting up the WII or looking through the mail or trying to leech some Wifi off some 6MB neighbor, just  doing my daily thing.  Then she comes over and starts rubbing her face against my leg smearing whatever weird hormone stuff shes got all over my leg. she walks back and forth like notice me! heeeello!  I go on ignoring because I'm 30 and I've been down this road too many times Mr. sister, not just here but every bar in buckhead, athens, kennesaw (...), and biloxi its all the same when you act tough and uninterested girls (cat or human) eat it up. 

It drives them crazy because they shave everything, don't eat all week, spend 2 hours putting on make up and then they get all perched up on their little pedestal you walk up and nothing...  This female cat is no different when I act indifferent she gets mad, pouts and walks away.  then I move to another destination maybe the couch or after a run the shower, not getting any attention she follows along quickly for another attempt.  I'm not giving in so easily I have internal and external scars that hold wisdom to what happens when you jump in too quick, I'm schooled and i play it cool.

Typically what happens at this point is she gets so wound up/frustrated that when I'm on the PC or WII, PS3, whatever she comes over and starts meowing at me and putting her paw on me.  its then usually that I give in and pet her little white blue eyed head a little.  She purrs loudly and starts demanding more start slow...  She then begins to bite a little and claw some getting more wound up and playful she isn't declawed so it can be quite an event when she starts "holding on" just like all those other "women" in my life you get em wound up they claw you to death, I may be 30 but I'm about 50 something cynically speaking.  Its almost like she cant decide whether she wants me petting her or not so now shes hyper, purring, claws out, and confused...

I don't know if its that she gets almost aroused and gets guilty or because she was fixed and does not understand whats happening inside her insanely small little albino brain, but she starts getting pretty violent at this stage.  this is how the game plays out: she runs up and is like OK pet me, purr purr, rub, rub.  When I do relent and pet her she turns quickly, rolls over, grabs my arm like some wild hell beast and holds on, biting very hard and kicking. The blood flows, then she releases me, hisses, spits and runs out of the room.  Almost to say "unhand me you know I cant have gentleman callers after 8pm with out a chaperone!!"

After a few seconds she always comes prancing right back, plops down next to me, and begins thrashing about rolling around on her back like its me.  Come on pet me pet me!  this little game can go on for several rounds before she gets tired of me all together and leaves the room for her ample sized chair that is her chosen domain.  This cat almost reminds me of that cliche cheerleader/sorority/rich girl thats so incredibly smoking hot and knows it.  The one you date over and over again only to get nothing (like quality dates, showering before hand what not)...  then when you finally make a move that you thought was mutually understood its SLAP!  then comes the restraining order and court documents it all gets really complicated but she still texts you when she gets drunk enough but I digress.  This cat is basically a tease and a dangerous one.  I don't know hat to do its not a simple child you could just lock in a cage in a dark secret room in your basement its a girlfriends cat and it must be liked!  If it was a wild animal in my driveway I would have backed over it "accidentally" by now but I cant, the truck wont fit into the living room!  Help me!!

(This post also CC'd to various social help sources as well, landers, Dr. laura, the Oprah cult, montel)

for your consideration and further study of this issue some video proof:

My girlfriend Tanya's fantastically violent hateful lucky to be alive cat "Fabiola" attacking me with great fervor: 

this time bleeding:

Fair and balanced you decide...

well i blew my face off

drinking, combustible liquids, and dumb assery.  bad combo...

direct link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tE1XJ899I8

good at dying

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

good at dying Throughout my life one thing I have always prided myself in being is good at damn near dying. It is a talent of sorts. I'm rather proud of pretty much coining the redneck phrase "hey ya'll watch this" only to have it followed by certain doom. Yet for some reason god lets me live on. perhaps what is truly to be my death is far too amusing to be wasted just yet. Lets review shall we: 1. Electrocution a favorite; 120vac, 277vac, 480vac, 520vac triple phase motor circuit, 48vdc 60amp tasty! 2. Falling: 12 feet off the top of a ladder into a triple stacked beverage cart of champagne glasses, through an attic ceiling 2 stories onto a desk, numerous 6,8,10 ladder falls onto various construction people/things. 3. Venoms: emperor scorpion, asian forest scorpion, bark scorpion, vingaroon, 9 wasps at once, false water cobra, copperhead (juvenile), dry bite eastern diamond back rattlesnake. 4. Automobiles: Numerous car accidents one in particular with a car not yielding at an exit ramp that was probably at +55mph, driving my 6 ton truck 100 everywhere. 5. Illness: mysterious tropical disease lasting 6 months, where I lost down to 165lbs and was nearly bed ridden the entire time. Mysterious super bug with a duration of 48 hours and a very fast fever almost to 104, this one included a spinal tap that took 12 stabbing attempts before the needle went deep into my spine... 6. Explosives: Badly timed drano, pipe and pressure bombs, too hot maltoffs, my propane powered potato guns barrel ruptured in my hands sending schedule 40 pvc shards all over me, short on battery circuit causing 3 series 12 vdc batteries full of hot acid everywhere. Blasting caps will fire with 9volts!!!! .22cal homemade assasin tube not holding blast. 7. Stupidity: passed out in a hot tub one night woke up 8 hours later just above the water, eating a baby king cobra in thai cobra dragon whiskey bottle, running 22.4 miles on silver comet one night with minimal water/fuel causing massive dehydration/shock/muscle atrophy, diving devils throat in mexico, saying "why don't you get a job" to a literal pack of homeless "urban outdoorsmen", drinking way too much after divorce 14 beers half jager bottle, messing with a big dumb redheaded kid named cliff in 5th grade who literally hit me in the head so many times I saw stars... I even approached a very confused obviously diseased coyote one night at my folks house. Its my regular daily as you can see this whole dying gig. My poor mother I know, wishes she could have me in that hamster ball like the boy in the bubble movie. I'm sure she would much rather change my diapers daily then have to live through the constant crap I put her through, alas not yet mama! I still got a few years left in me! So this saturday came as no suprise when I quite miserably almost died yet again! Scene: dinner at the "melting pot" in kennesaw near barret pkwy, my lovely date and I have decided to treat her brother to a wonderful dinner and the night is going perfectly. We have finished our first course, salads and now the entree is served with lots of fondue choices. Filet mignon, asian pork, chicken, shrimp, pretty much all animals were represented well on this table. imagine noahs ark but everythings dead and on a huge plate. We are through most of the meal when a little dull light bulb goes off in my head. As if deep frying every meal item wasn't unhealthy enough I decide to be a smart ass and dip my steak into the tempura batter. So I jam it into the pot making light of the fact that I am about to eat a huge piece of breaded steak hahaha so funny... I'm so stupid sometimes its like it hurts. Upon removing this beast from the fondue thing I notice this death meat has easily grown 3 times its size. I kind of sense a little danger, do I stop? Cut it up? Heed the advice of my smart little girlfriend? No... Mr comedian has to complete this punchline for the setup on this humor has taken too long and must be complete. So I bite down... Jesus this thing is gonna kill me I'm thinking as I semi chew on this mosterous morsel of damnation. I chew a bit more and then like a mighty python begin a slow swallow. My throat resists but I push heh a little drinky oughta help here! So I drink up and yeah it moves on down pretty far, and stalls... Yep it put the brakes on way down there great its now been 30 seconds with no air... I kind of calm myself and move around a little and start realizing its not budging 15 more seconds no air... I feel adrenalin releasing and panic starting to overtake me. Iam choking and unless something changes soon, I cannot breathe and I am going to die! 1 minute no air... I leap up motion at my dinner guests that I'm choking and I need help. Thoughts of death, brain damage are reeling through my mind as the panic takes hold. Shit!! My life is finally together, I'm succesful, met the right girl, hell my biggest worry is wether to play video games 5 hours or 6 hours a day fuck!! Not today dammit my moms gonna be pissed, and what a bitch way to die... I wann be shot by a jealous husband, be eaten by a shark, or die from shock in a massive 8 way lesbianic sex octagon! Not in a restaurant like some weak little punk grrrrrrr!! Real men die in war, in fires, slaying evil not on the floor at a fufu fondue joint surrounded by slack wearing people who know the difference between $5 wine and $150 wine... Not here not today! Quickly her brother jumps up comes around behind me and starts trying to give me the heimlich manuveur, as he's compressing my rib cage I start to feel like if fading out. Sound and visuals are starting to get weaker as I near fainting. I start seeing stars and other visual hallucinations just as the 4th or 5th compression does it!! The monster meat frees up and my airway is suddenly clear!! I take a huge breathe of air and kind of loose focus and hit the floor. It only takes a few seconds to regain my footing and mental clarity that's when I suddenly realize the gravity of what just occured. I realize that shawn has possibly saved my life and how amazing being alive really is. I didn't have any kind of spirtual rebirth or anything but it was a lot like that adrenalin high when you nearly have an automobile accident. Of course after a few more minutes everything resumes and I also start realizing what a complete and total tool I am. I begin to feel really foolish and stupid for what I did and how the entire place must have collectively thought "breaded meat hmmm what an asshat" heh you live you learn. Ugggh alanis I really gotta quit dying and shake off some of this 90s cheese gack! Thank you shawn for saving my life, from now on I won't take it for granted as much, I say this of course, but I'm sure ill be picking up a poisonous snake in a day or so.