Last Free Man

World of Forcecraft

As early release of the legendary Star Wars the Old Republic rolls out, and we all get a full taste of what will likely become the next big obsession... I have to stake a quick flag, this game has a huge title and as typical amongst my neck furred friendlies we have need of an easier distinction. That's why on this day at this hour, I now proclaim the long winded Star Wars the Old Republic Online franchise to hereby and forever named FORCECRAFT. There it is! You have launch of great title sequence and readiness for decades of sock pooping fun. Now go forth and spread thy name!

While I'm changing gaming history forever I might also add, roll a fat dude for Force'sake. This game's character build allows for custimization, one of the fist I might add in history to show the world an accurate represenatative of what we the community are: fat, hairy-necked, nether beasts. No more cat girls, no more trim emos, no it's time to get real about what happens on the keyboard, and it's 250+, so man up and do it. I did:

 (You ARE a fat Asian with a handle-bar mustache, embrace the Force.)

So in review, we have a great future ahead of us as the official launch of Forcecraft draws near, I see many a sweaty night filled with bantha fodder and nerf herding, I did choose the Light side of things because I typically play the Paladin-esque rolls, the white knight the good guy. Although I was heavily swayed I must admit upon watching attack animation trailers early on and realizing that Jedi Consulars are the absolute king bosses of passive-aggressive overtly do-goodiness to the point of running the meter all the way around to pure asshole. We are the keepers of the light and pretty much the taddle-tales of the playground, be warned. We also have a fierce attack posturing that is nearly a perfect mix of Heisman, and Elvis handing:

(...in the ghettooooowoooowwwoow)

IGXE will get your Final Fantasy XI account banned.

Let me be clear in the most angry Obama voice possible, I understand my personal responsibility reigns supreme in giving known criminals from China who enslave people in dormitories to harvest virtual currency is wrong, asking for trouble, and worse of all plain lazy. I despise cheating and especially RMT currency slave holders, but I got one of those great emails for 8% off and a fire sale of leveling promised 75-90 in two days, I had a moment of weakness...

So I placed the order and anxiously awaited (reportedly honest leveling by hand) what happened next was a surprise as I watched FFXIAH.com to watch my character's transacting of gear, drops and other oddities. Being a recent return I assumed it was a gear for Abyssea content so no worries. After about 5 days I became concerned as no activity was occurring, and something seemed off.

So I made contact with a helpful chat representative, five times that is... This is when I was being told that all was in order and I could log into my account safely to check the progress. On day 6 I couldn't stand it anymore so I logged in...

I was greeted with the dreaded POL LM-17, that's Playonline.com speak for absolute, permanent, data deleted from server BANHAMMER. My draw dropped and I honestly felt a little sick, you know that feeling when you are aware and actually doing something wrong, and you have been caught. Sure it's nervous excitement when it's going on, but when you get nailed and you know it, it's a whole entirely different emotion. Sick. I frantically called Playonline.com to act dumb and see what was going on and the confirmation was sobering: My account of almost 10 years, with combined playtime of over 396 days, nearly every job past 50, all missioned out was gone, now and forever. There was no appeal, no remedy, no Moogle to rub my back. The charge? Third party tools being used to circumvent normal game mechanics, that's right these "honest" powerlevelers from IGXE were of course using bot leveling schemes apparently out in the open in Abyssea. My god the stupidity of this is monumental, christ if you're going to bot at least do it in a far away zone, and be mindful and courteous to those around you.

So naturally I went to PayPal expecting that since I did not receive my "virtual" item (the powerlveling) that I would be getting a refund. Nope. During the entire dispute/claim process IGXE denied everything, lied, and even told payPal that I had received all work and the order was complete. That is a complete and utter lie. This is not a trustworthy company, and honestly unless you are just buying hand delivered currency I would steer clear of all other services, you can and will be banned. The thing is SE tracks certain Chinese players/IP addresses, so they know if logged in from Michigan then two days later leveled 960 hours straight in China, Powerleveling is virtually impossible to do so heed my warning and stay away.

Conclusion; Maybe it was good to break the cycle or hold of FFXI. It has had me for almost ten years, I probably needed to get banned to finally get pushed out of this game that I seem to revisit like an old friendly heroin habit every 90 days or so. I just hate the decision being made in such an abrupt and painful way, with no consideration or second chance, I think if I was given something even the smallest token from IGXE Hell even just an apology it would have made a huge difference. But alas I did see the big bold red letters now featured prominetly on their page:

Using illegal leveling and gold service might terminate the account!

 

Girls on the Internet: Confirmed

I can now confirm the existence of at least one known female archetype playing an actual female character in an actual game in an actual MMO on the actual Internet. Any more research into this subject is truly conjecture as there has been little more than sparse chat logs, or blurry bigfootesque photos/screenshots of other females. This one I can confirm because it is my heterosexual life mate, I will further report upon this growing concern as women take there first meek foothold on the Internet in an overly dominated neckbeard world of world of world of warcraft.

 

Unconventional RPG

It is quite possible my recent retroactive play on Final Fantasy XI the painfully difficult and old MMO has ignited something in me.  Lately my tastes have gone right off the retro deep end, with my gaming hunger being sated with some classic versions of modern role play.  The games I have been spending my game-time budget on recently would typically be a laughable throwback situation that I might rarely engage in for a few minutes.  Not so lately, I will review a few of my new favorites and some old classics that i have been energetically leveling through.  Some will shock and scare you, others will make you sigh and wonder why, all will carry a common thread: simplistic graphics. high patience requirement, and odd.  Enjoy this little foray into the alternate side of RPG, where an interface is sometimes not even an interface but a wall of text...

To start things off I will give a shout out to a real classic, the old wall of text IRC based RPG.  This one is great, you can role play with weird Dutch and Germans, plus you always get lots of port scans and DNS attack attempts.  This keeps things lively, as you just know some weird black metal fiends smoking hella strong hydro weed, are ripping up the text with crazy quest and in the background probing your firewall like a cheap gynecology student.  The current flavor of the month for me is the idle rpg, yes idle as in sit on your ass and do nothing rpg.  The goal is simple, who can out idle who, with added random encounters, buffs, and battles changing the time penalty.  If you chat penalty, check bots penalty, breathe penalty, this is idle hardcore at its best.  This is great fun as you watch the wall of text fly by and your eyeballs start to bleed, 18 hours later you are level 2!  Awesome!  In 2 years perhaps I will find a broadsword.  Come on over to #idlerpg on EFnet and join the ranks of the few, the proud, the idle...

Next on the menu is another wall of text from the golden age of computer gaming.  Yes the interactive fiction based rpg.  Famous titles like Zork, Hitchhikers, and some new favorites are all available as an app on the iPhone.  Frotz is the app that allows you to partake in this rich world of text, that forces you to make the pictures in your head, like a big boy (my mom's words.)  These are great challenges, often requiring you to map out dungeons on paper or forever be cast in the darkness.  The darkness of course reads like this: W, you see a rock covered wall, E, you see a rock covered wall, N, you see a rock covered wall, AHHHH!!  This is pure text adrenaline!  Those around you may even mistake your furious texting to be that of romancing an actual girl, but you'll know the secret, the fact is your a habitually masturbating nerdburger with no life.  Gratz you found the thief now type 82 sentences and kill him!

Classic interface evolution is the subject of my next disclosure with a fantastic first offering of Parallel Kingdom.  This classic turn based RPG features a GPS map feature that plots your current location into a randomized world map.  This is a really early version, but the idea is sound, and lots of fun.  Different monsters and landscapes are available as you change actual real world locations.  It is also  possible to PK (Player Kill) a type of pvp where you rape and pillage others for personal gain, you know the cycle of abuse that ruined Everquest.  The game itself uses the cellular data network or wifi to create a sort of mini mmo feel, mobile mmo fatalities are sure to go up.  I have already battled one player who was a trucker and when I asked when it was his turn to take the wheel, he laughed and replied "what do you mean?"  This is an interesting development on my nerd-dar because the game forces you outside, into the certain peril of the sun, seeking new areas to battle in.  One might find voice cracking nerds running into poles all over town in search of rare monsters and dragons to slay.  I myself took care of a particularly ornery pack of wolves on Spring street in Atlanta, you're welcome citizenry!  When monster hunting in urban areas perhaps caution should be the rule...

A handful of other classic styled RPGs are also available on the iPhone and through emulation that I have been time sinking as well.  Dragon Bane II takes the Doom formula and mixes it with turn based combat for a wild, slow ride of pixelated glory.  There are lots of Final Fantasy clones as well like Arvale, Dungeon Hero, Inotia, and Vay all available as mobile versions.  These tend to be too graphical for my current bender I am on, but deserve props for pushing the iPhone hardware and RPG lifestyle further.  No I am all about the wall of text at the moment and graphics don't thrill, perhaps some weird desire to read is alive and well in me, or I'm just jaded by all the colors of World of Warcraft?

What is next you might ask?  Don't worry I won't be larping anytime soon or anything.  Larping?  Those are the nerd bags running to and fro in state parks and wooded areas around town hitting each other with pvc swords.  With magic based attacks obviously based on hackeysacs, this is a flavor of fail even I cannot descend into.  This larping cannot be considered a contact sport either, unless you enjoy the sounds of glasses clinking and pvc clanks.  No I will probably reach rock bottom about the time Final Fantasy XIII comes out, and have an entire epiphany on my gaming scenario as the genesis of a new heavy graphics game binge occurs.  I'll be fine, no really... 

Oh those silly RMTs

Let me preface this vague attempt at humor by saying that I believe in freedom entirely, to do, spend and express yourself as you please.  If there are game mechanics such as power leveling, botting, and buying in game currency with real cash, that have not been fixed server side, I really don't care.  I believe if someone wishes to pay real money for in game items let them.  There is a small family in China, deep inside a straw hut with a $5000 gaming rig that depends on the laziness and cheating ways of rich American gamers to feed their families.  I support them, they deserve a chance to go to wal-mart and eat fast food just like the rest of free world.  Let me also preface this with saying I don't use these services, mostly because I love the exp grind, I truly believe during a rather messy divorce, I was lifted out of the hate and mess and placed into a nice happy place in good ole' Azeroth, leveling the nights away.

I do however keep tabs on these silly Chinese opportunists.  I watch their characters in-game, get spammed by them, and visit their websites every time they message me.  Why you may ask?  Mostly I am fascinated by the straw hut gaming rig scenario, but also these guys speak a great version of engrish.  Yes engrish that weird mix of english done mostly through an auto translator, you can't make this stuff up it is an absolute comedy gold mine.  For your entertainment a few examples follow, and by all means keep on cheating, there may be a small communist family depending on you!

"Price makes for paradise, special offers for you ever-ever-ever-ever-yday.
Financial crisis? Wow, cakes for us and of course, for our respectable customers: Special Everyday Program is here for you.You can buy our special offers at down-to-ice-point price today, oh no, EVERYDAY! gamerize your life!"

"For years, your supports and suggestions are never rest. You have been keeping shedding light on us. We know who you are, yes we know you well. In the game when you're in battle for your honor, up in the sky flying, diving into the water swimming, now at this time, in this place, our respectable customers, you become specials. In return, we give our specials to you,  What will I profit if I buy today's special?"

"Christmas Holidays approaches, the temperature is dropping and the calendar is down to its last few pages, the year-end holidays are upon us, it is the time for the celebrations commence and to express our gratitude to our valued customers during the Christmas.  we have ladled out especially designed the Promotion Area for your choice. 600 pieces of $72 coupons and hot sale items at a price you can not pass up!"

"3% off, Now you can be just like the legends of the Old West and ride into town on your faithful steed, dispensing raw justice from your saddle bag!"

"My name is Fred,I just mail to inform you on a piece of good news the prices on igxe are all marked down because from now on we will walk a cheap line. Price will never rise awfully."

More coming still looking through 1000's of emails...

 

Back to BST

I have secretly resumed my leveling of beastmaster in the online installment of the Final Fantasy universe. FFXI we call it, my second grand addiction after the everquest buzz wore off and the relentless PK'ers got old... This is almost year seven of this game for me and sometimes I just yern to get back out there.

Yes the title screen says it all "exploring the world of Vana Diel is a thrilling experience, don't forget your friends, family, or work..." I always laugh a little when I confirm that selection, but it's true the Zen-like quality of the world is such that it is easily addictive.

There is just nothing quite like this game as far ambiance goes, wind in the trees, water effects, it is as close to a meditative experience possible while killing thousands of enemy beastmen in an attempt to reign supreme!

The game certainly shows the huge difference between American and Asian MMO development. The American MMO-market is full of death and destruction, ruthless item questing, and loads of tea-bagging. Whereas Asian MMOs focus on quality of environment and simple things like travel.

In the world of FFXI battle is more of an art with extreme technical styles. Balance is important and only the truly brave attempt breaking the party mold at all. The few that travel deep into rarely used camps at the edge of dangerous areas are usually the mavericks of the game. The Dragoons, Black mages, and the most private and mysterious of all the Beastmaster.

These rare few classes solo in a game never designed for soloing and do so with terribly slow EXP rates plus much chagrin from their fellow adventurers. Beastmasters have enjoyed the title of MPKers for years or camp stealers, much of which spawns from jealousy of watching a single player fulfill an entire party role and grabbing exp chains to the thirds.

The beastmaster is the quiet sometimes shy background character seen to only relate to his flock and have more knowledge of the beasts of the world than any other character. They tame the wild and use nature in the struggle of the day.

When I was first leveling up my original characters like warrior, monk and thief I was always mystified by the roaming beastmasters who seemed so content to make their own path. I always felt so generic sitting in my factory perfect party (tank, dps, healer) when one of these enigmas went by, especially in the old days.

So to fulfill my pledge and mini dream of making it all the way to level 75 solo, I have resumed. After a real hard spot at 57-60 I pushed on through to my current level of 65. I will be resuming my updates as well.

Fall is here and it's the online gaming season, what better time to grind away the cold nights of winter in those dangerous areas no one else goes. As the fellow BST's greet each other, I say: "good hunting!"

Merry Christmas level fest

After a wicked busy December I was well ready for the holiday break, and by holidays I mean Christmas, that is the holiday.  It's not politically incorrect Christmas has nothing to do with religion anymore whatsoever so stick your righteous indignation up your yule log.  I have been saying merry Christmas all week deal.

It's times like these where I get a great deal done.  In-game.  Yeah that's right another online Christmas #10 in fact 100% shopped, downloaded, and entertained via the Internet.  I am juggling several projects right now, this Christmas rather:

The ever present crack that is FFX1 and my attempt at a fully soloed BST.  Persona 3 the masterful game from renowned Japanese satanist Shin Megami Tensei, will fill my nights with dungeon crawling.  Overlord will fill in the strategy portion on the Xbox360.  MMO time is all World Of warcraft trying to push my Rogue "AngryAgain"  into 70 for the sole purpose of ganking other players into a grief filled Christmas eve.  A little XBOX live Fable thrown in for old school action RPG action and you have it.   

While writing this I am not noticing mis-charms on my beasts better get back to the game...

FFXI take over...

For the fourth time in my life FFXI, a MMO version of the Final Fantasy world has taken over my game time.  I don't know what it is about this game that has kept me addicted since 10/28/03.  It isn't fun, it is extremely difficult to do anything, quest, exp or just moving between towns is a massive chore.  To go between most areas takes about 30 minutes.

on the other hand maybe its the satisfaction of having achieved something difficult and rare.  Leveling in a zone where you are comfortable only to have a monster 20 levels above the area swoop in and kill you in one shot.  Or perhaps its the raw l337-ism of it all knowing that you are a sharing a game with only 2000+ peeps at max server (last night) many of which aren't Engrish speakers and somehow managing to get things done.  Whatever it is I look up and its 02:00 am and I have to be at work in 3 hours again...  Watch the madness unfold as an experimental blog type is in progress The beastmaster chronicles!

/played

/total time played: 182 days 20 hours 31 minutes

The future for Blizzard is all about the cold!

  "Ner'zhul's spirit was magically shackled to a suit of ancient armor and bound to the mighty runeblade Frostmourne. To ensure Ner'zhul's obedience, Kil'jaeden sealed the armor and blade within a specially crafted block of ice collected from the far reaches of the Twisting Nether. This frozen crystal was then cast into the ripe and unsuspecting world of Azeroth, settling in the desolate, snowy wastes of Northrend."

Wrath of the Lich King, The second expansion to World of warcraft has been announced.  In the cold, harsh northlands...The Lich King Arthas has set in motion events that could lead to the extinction of all life on Azeroth. With the armies of the undead and the necromantic power of the plague threatening to sweep across the land, only the mightiest heroes can oppose the Lich King's will and end his reign of terror for all time.

Blizzard Entertainment's latest expansion to World of Warcraft – Wrath of the Lich King – adds a host of epic content to the existing game world. Players will achieve soaring levels of power, explore a vast new continent, and battle other high-level heroes to determine the fate of Azeroth. As you pit yourself against the dangers of the north, prepare to:

Master the necromantic powers of the Death Knight - World of Warcraft's first Hero class. Quest to level 80, gaining potent new abilities and talents along the way. Learn the craft of spell augmentation with the new Inscription profession.  Brave the harsh new continent of Northrend, the icy domain of the Lich King.  Engage in epic siege warfare, deploying mighty siege engines to lay waste to destructible buildings in your path.  Transform your hero's look with new character-customization options, including new hairstyles and dances.  Explore perilous new dungeons filled with some of the deadliest creatures -- and greatest treasures -- on Azeroth.  And much, much more...

"The Lich King appeared to be faithfully serving his master, but he had in fact hatched a cunning and subversive plan. To that end, he created a small fissure in his prison, pushed Frostmourne through it, and directed his minions to carry the runeblade away from the Frozen Throne. Ner'zhul intended to use the sword as bait for a mighty champion: a loyal subject who would free him and serve as a vessel for his restless spirit. While Frostmourne was positioned to serve its future purpose, the Lich King dutifully proceeded with his demon master's true agenda..."

(Ice!)

Monkeyhouse rocks the level 10

Monkeyhouse is running on past level 10 and entering the barrens metro area.  This young Orc's journey is coming full circle as I fill out the Orc story through questing in the main homeland of the Orc race.  Using the quest system and discovery method you can level rather quickly.  There is another method of course.  Southpark had an episode about World of Warcraft where the boys get involved with the crack that is this incredible game.  In this episode they encounter an uber player who has leveled so high he is actually out of the server's control and constantly griefing all the other players.  The boys decide something must be done if they are going to be able to play unmolested, the only way to defeat this demi-god of a player is to level, quickly...

So Cartman hatches a plan, questing is impossible because of the rogue player so the only way to safely level?  "We kill boars in the forest" and for the first time the rest of the world saw the magic of grinding mobs for EXP.  This method is mind numbingly boring of course, but you are safe, potentially exposing yourself to rare item drops, and in Azeroth there are plenty of boar!  Much like in the real outside-game world the land is covered in many species of boar, they are in every forest, crag and cranny.  So to make the final push on through level 10 today I hit the forest, and got my grind on with the local boar population.  Gallery of the boar grind:

(Here's a bunch!  Not even an Orc would grind lil' baby piggies...  Sigh.)

More boar:

• The entire boar grind gallery
• Monkeyhouse theme 

 

I have walked the Dangruf Wadi

I logged in the first night North American servers went live and the post beta game of Final Fantasy XI was released to the masses.  It was 2003 and Late October, the season was autumn and the air was full of falling leaves and a cool hint of winter.  I was amazed at this new MMORPG from the start because of the Final Fantasy universe tie in and the promise of a huge world full of adventure and exploration.  After character creation and choosing the server Lakshmi, I was off to explore a brave new world!

The newb zone was right outside the town's protective walls the place was called Bastok and was full of cool techno industrial overtones.  This was a blue collar working mans city and fit my play style perfectly.  This game requires extensive party dynamics and balanced character class requirements when you reach higher levels.  As a young level 10 something however, you are left to your own devices to seek quests and explore the few zones nearby your city of origin.  My favorite zone right away was Dangruf Wadi.

Just outside a steamy pool infested lair known as the fumaroles, was the swamp land called the Dangruf Wadi.  I was captivated by its privacy and danger.  Even your mount the mighty Chocobo would not enter this area.  Upon making the zone, you were greeted with a labyrinth filled with goblins, lizards, and giant worms coming out of the ground like small trees.  The zone twisted around in such a way as to make navigating its steamy interior difficult and quite treacherous for the newb player.  I slowly began exploring this dungeon one small area at a time until I became more comfortable with its interior.

While grinding away in this misty swamp I actually managed to make a lot of money off of the excellent drops from the worms and goblins that inhabited this region.  Zinc ore, animal glue, and lots of various fishing rods made for excellent auction house fodder.  I may have been a level 9 newb paladin but I had a bank roll like a level 30 expert player.  A year later found me sometimes still seeking refuge in the upper levels of the wadi that was reachable by riding a shooting geyser up a steep bank.  My linkshell mates would laugh and joke at a level 60 paladin grinding mobs in the Wadi.  Little did they know I was hunting bigger prey.

While running this zone out, a rare monster would spawn called "Geyser Lizard" and I would delight in finding his spawn point and soloing his rather tough battle plan.  His drops of "steam mail armor" really didn't interest me but his rarity and mystique was always a fun addition to the otherwise mindless hack and slash money farming method required in this games failing economy.  I can remember spending hours sometimes, always alone, running the maze of the wadi in search of precious metals and rare treasure coffers.  Rarely did I see other players, only in a few rare instances did I even bring other friends of mine up to my secret money maker known as the Dangruf Wadi.

Satellite of the area:

   

Today while out adventuring and exploring the wildest side of Cozumel island I discovered a "zone" that almost made my jaw drop when I walked in.  A narrow path from the ocean about a half mile lead right into a real world living version of the Dangruf Wadi.  The steam was thick and hot lying just above the surface.  Decomposing vegetation, and unusual spiky plants lined every surface.  The air held a thick soiled odor of years of bubbling brackish swamp.  As I walked the edge of the interior I could almost hear that haunting tune from year past as I pushed on deeper and deeper into the Wadi.  I couldn't help stopping for a moment and just imaging old Geyser Lizard spawning out of the bubbling swamp right in front of me, I could feel a provoke coming on!  This was real world game world parallel at its finest!

The real Dangruf Wadi:

More pics here.   

April Fools WOW style!

(The new updated login screen)

Wary adventurers logging in for their daily dose of World of Warcrack were greeted by a new login screen this evening.  The claim: a fantastic new Epic item called "Tinfoil hat!" heh seems our server masters and GM's on the Blizzard side have a sense of humor after all.  Here's all the gory details:

(The item stats!)

Every engineer knows that in order to achieve true greatness, it is imperative to always keep a clear, unclouded mind and to protect one's secrets from those who would seek to steal or plagiarize the radical new designs of a hard-working genius. The Tinfoil Hat is the logical result of this profound insight, combining tinfoil's powerful mental shielding properties with the excellent counter-hexing effect of troll tears and the outstanding mind-focus powers of one of Azeroth's most precious gems.

(Crafting the Tinfoil Hat)

However, besides keeping the wearer safe from mind spies and the thought police, it also removes the wearer's character profile from the World of Warcraft Armory to further guarantee that no one will be able to divine all of the wearer's tightly held secrets. Furthermore, wearers of the Tinfoil Hat will not show up in /who listings, and they will also be immune to inspection from other players.

(Protecting your secrets has never been so stylish!)

The schematic for the Tinfoil Hat can be obtained by high-level characters from two faction-specific vendor NPCs in or around Area 52 that sell the schematic to anyone. There is, however, a catch. The creative masterminds who invented the Tinfoil Hat, special engineers Sculder and Mully, are extremely suspicious of any and all visitors. They use Gnomish Cloaking Devices and their own Tinfoil Hats to stay out of sight, and they will only reveal themselves to connoisseurs of their favorite foods -- Dried Mushroom Rations for Sculder, and Dried Fruit Rations for Mully (these items can be bought in Thrallmar and Honor Hold).

The only drawback is that the increased focus provided by the Tinfoil Hat may sometimes lead the wearer to achieve a superlative level of mental clarity, through which he can see the manifold subtle connections between seemingly unrelated facts and events, revealing to the wearer a much sharper image of the truth. Resisting the urge to share this truth with other, less illuminated players can be difficult, indeed...

Bonus secret!!

This text was also found in the dark side of the left pane it was black so not visible unless highlighted:

To staff of warlock none compare
Leaves its enemies seeing double
To defy its power none would dare
Don't report anything, I might get in trouble

Play now!  What is your problem?!  Sunshine is so 1990!!

https://signup.worldofwarcraft.com/trial/10dayfreetrial.htm